Contemplating Parenthood: Do I Need To Be?

You can agree with me that the decision to have children or not is a deeply personal one. I have although chosen the path of not wanting to have a child. However, I acknowledge that my partner may have different views, and in that case, I may consider settling for just one child. I understand that this mindset might raise questions, so let me openly share my reasons for this perspective, maybe my potential partner will see this before even thinking of having anything to do with me. Lol.

First and foremost, I don't want to contribute to the problems of the world by unnecessarily increasing the population. The Earth is already facing numerous challenges such as overpopulation, resource depletion, and environmental degradation. By choosing not to have a child, I am reducing my ecological footprint and minimising the strain on our planet's limited resources.

Another reason for my decision is the realisation that my child may never fully appreciate my efforts. While this may sound harsh, it is a reality that many parents face. As much as we pour our love, time, and energy into raising a child, there is no guarantee that they will understand or acknowledge our sacrifices. Parenting is a selfless act, and I have come to terms with the fact that my child doesn't have to appreciate my efforts, and I can't force them to.

Moreover, I believe that bringing a child into this world exposes them to a life full of uncertainties. The world can be unpredictable and challenging, and I question whether I am doing more harm than good by introducing them to a world that is constantly evolving. Protecting my child from unnecessary hardships and preserving their comfort is a concern that weighs heavily on my decision.

Additionally, I want to enjoy all that this world has to offer without the burden or attachment of someone else who may not fully comprehend how the world works. This might sound selfish to some, but I yearn for the freedom to prioritise my own goals, aspirations, and adventures without the added responsibility of raising a child. I believe this allows me to fully immerse myself in the experiences and opportunities that come my way.

If I were ever to change my mind and consider having a child, it would be only one. There are several reasons why I might consider this path.

Firstly, the desire to maintain a sense of tranquillity and order in my home. Having just one child ensures a more peaceful and calm environment, fostering a stronger sense of balance and harmony within the family dynamic.

Secondly, by focusing all my energy on one person, I can provide them with my undivided attention and support. Parenting is a demanding role, and by having only one child, I can devote my time, resources, and love solely to their needs. This allows for a deeper connection and the potential for a stronger parent-child bond.

Furthermore, I believe that favouritism can unintentionally arise when there are multiple children in a family. Each child is unique, with their own set of strengths and weaknesses, and it is human nature to develop preferences. I want to avoid any child feeling left out or less loved by ensuring that my attention is solely on one child. This fosters a sense of equality and fairness within the family unit.

Lastly, my personal experiences growing up do not necessarily motivate my desire to have more than one child. While I am content with the person I have become today, I do not believe that replicating my own upbringing is a valid reason for expanding my family. Each person's journey is unique, and I respect that my child, if I were to have one, should have the freedom to shape their own path and create their own narrative.

I want to reiterate that these are my personal preferences and choices, and I do not expect everyone to think the way I do. The decision to have children or not is deeply personal. My intention in sharing my thoughts is to shed light on the reasons behind my child-free choice and the possibility of considering having just one child. It is a complex decision that requires careful thought, self-reflection, and open communication with one's partner.

The Art of Being Stubborn (for the Right Reasons)

Being a nonconformist can certainly be a point of pride for many. It gives them a sense of identity and individuality that sets them apart from the pack. However, like many things in life, there's a balance that needs to be struck.

Refusing to conform can sometimes lead to stubbornness or resistance to change. If there's no good reason behind it, being a nonconformist can just be plain stupidity. It's important to have a conviction with a purpose.

Too often, people cling to their ways without any justification, simply because they want to prove themselves right or be perceived as different. But if one is not connected with their sense of self and is simply floating through life, I see no reason for them to resist change.

It's easy to understand why some people fall into this trap. Winning can be addictive. But without a good reason to back it up, winning for the sake of winning is an empty victory.

As my dad often says, it's okay to be stubborn. In fact, having conviction is an admirable quality, but don't be stubborn and stupid at the same time. At least be stubborn for a good reason.

When we resist change, we limit our growth and potential. It's essential to keep an open mind and to know when to adapt. Success is not solely achieved by the amount of resistance one can muster against changing elements. There must be premises to one's point, there has to be substance, and conviction must have rooted in truth.

Maybe I should illustrate this point with a hypothetical example. Let's say you're working for a company that's going through major changes. The new CEO has different ideas about how things should be done. But because you don't want to conform, you resist the changes and continue to operate as you always have.

However, this approach can be disastrous for you because the company is moving in a new direction, and your failure to adapt could cost you your job. In this scenario, there is no point in resisting change just because you don't want to conform, especially if there's no purpose to back it up.

The key is to have conviction in your beliefs but to remain flexible and adaptable. Being open to new ideas and anticipating change is key in both personal and career growth. Balancing steadfastness and fluid action is a delicate art; in doing so, one can thrive in evolving environments.

In summary, being a nonconformist is not necessarily a bad thing, but it cannot be taken to the point of stupidity. Stubbornness, without a good reason, is foolish. There must be conviction backed up by purpose. While striving to be unique be open to changing environments and open to the immense possibilities that can follow.

Why Small Apologies for Big Offences Just Don’t Cut It

As humans, we all make mistakes. Whether intentionally or not, there are times when we hurt others with our words or actions. These offences can range from minor misunderstandings to major breaches of trust. While we all hope to be forgiven for our mistakes, it's important to consider the magnitude of our offence and the appropriate level of apology or penance required to make up for it.

In my opinion, when we commit a big offence, we need to make an even bigger apology or repentance. This is not to suggest that we should withhold forgiveness or not to accept little apologies for things you can easily let go, however, I'm of the belief that the magnitude of our apology or penance should match the magnitude of our offence.

When we apologise, we are acknowledging our wrongdoing and expressing remorse for the harm we have caused. An apology is not just a verbal acknowledgement of our mistake – it is an effort to repair the damage we have inflicted on others. However, a small apology may not be enough to make amends for a big offence.

For example, if a friend breaks a cherished possession that was passed down from a loved one, a simple “I’m sorry” may not be enough to make up for the sentimental and emotional value of the item. The apology needs to be bigger, more elaborate, and more heartfelt to show the depth of the person's remorse and effort to make amends even when it can't be brought back to its supposed state.

Similarly, when it comes to making up for a big offence, the penance required may also need to be more significant. For example, if a spouse cheats on their partner, a simple apology may not be enough to repair the damage caused to the relationship. The person may need to take steps to demonstrate their commitment to the relationship, such as attending couple counselling or making significant lifestyle changes to regain the trust of their partner.

In my view, this is not about seeking perfection or requiring an unrealistic level of penance for every mistake. It is about recognising that some offences are more significant than others and require a greater level of effort to repair the damage. This is not about “cancelling” or “shaming” someone for their mistake, but rather about creating a culture of responsibility and accountability, where people take ownership of their actions and make a genuine effort to repair the harm they have caused.

To sum up, I believe that when we commit a big offence, a bigger apology or penance is required to make amends. Small apologies may not be enough to repair the harm that has been caused, and it is important to consider the impact of our actions and make a genuine effort to acknowledge the hurt we have caused. This does not mean we should withhold forgiveness or refuse to move on from past mistakes. Rather, it is about creating a culture of responsibility and accountability, where we can grow and learn from our mistakes and work towards building stronger, healthier relationships.

It is important to understand that the effort required in making up for an offence is proportional to the gravity of the offence. Therefore, whether it is in a personal relationship or in a work setting, we should not hesitate to take adequate measures to make a bigger apology or penance for big offences. Doing so does not only show true remorse but also helps to reassure the parties involved that the offender is genuinely interested in repairing the relationship.

How an Extra Hour in Bed Transforms My Day

As I grew older, I learned to cultivate a habit of spending an extra hour in bed after waking up, even if it means sacrificing some of my planned sleep time. This hour has become an essential part of my morning routine, allowing me to smoothly transition into the day ahead and ensure that every detail of my plans from the previous day falls into place.

To me, a well-planned morning routine can significantly impact the course of my day. By dedicating an extra hour to rest and reflection after waking up, I have found that I can better adjust to the demands of the day. It provides me with the space to organise my thoughts and align my intentions with my actions. This simple practice has become a cornerstone of my daily life, allowing me to navigate through potential challenges and curveballs that could otherwise throw my day off balance.

The concept of an unexpected bad day may seem trivial to some, but it's the accumulation of little mishaps that can gradually erode our well-being. For instance, imagine eagerly turning on the shower, only to be met with an unwelcome rush of cold water instead of the warmth you anticipated. Such seemingly insignificant incidents can set a negative tone for the day, leaving us feeling frustrated and off-kilter. It is in these moments that I appreciate the value of investing time in my morning routine to minimise the likelihood of encountering such disturbances.

In addition to the benefits of dedicating an extra hour to rest and reflection in the morning, it can be compared to a plane on a runaway before taking off on a flight. Just as a plane needs a runway to gain momentum and lift off smoothly, investing an extra hour in the morning provides the necessary momentum for a successful day ahead. When a plane prepares for takeoff, it requires a runway to gather speed and ensure a safe and efficient ascent into the sky. Similarly, dedicating this extra hour to myself allows for a gradual acceleration into the day. It provides the time needed to awaken the mind and body, align intentions, and set the tone for the hours to come. By taking this time for reflection and preparation, I get to build this necessary momentum to face the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.

While it's impossible to completely eliminate all the unfavourable events that life throws our way, actively seeking ways to avoid unnecessary disruptions can make a significant difference. By dedicating this extra hour to myself in the morning, I am better equipped to handle unforeseen challenges. This practice not only helps me plan the practical aspects of my day but also fosters a sense of inner calm and resilience. It provides a buffer against the unexpected, allowing me to face obstacles with a clearer mind and a more positive outlook.

Some may argue that life is unpredictable, and no amount of planning can prevent things from going awry. While this is true to some extent, I firmly believe that it's better to take proactive steps to avoid unnecessary setbacks than to resign ourselves to the mercy of fate. By investing time and effort into cultivating a calm and structured morning routine, we are actively taking control of our lives and creating an environment conducive to success and well-being.

In our fast-paced world, it's easy to overlook the importance of reflection, but by dedicating an extra hour to myself each morning, I am reminded of the significance of starting the day on the right foot. This time allows me to engage in activities that nourish my mind, body, and spirit, setting a positive tone for the rest of the day. It's a gentle reminder that self-reflection are not indulgences but necessities for a fulfilling and balanced life.

The Dual Realities: Heaven and Hell on Earth

I believe that your heaven and hell is here on this God-given soil. This is not to disprove the main after-life concept of heaven and hell according to religious beliefs, but rather to explore the idea that our experiences of heaven and hell can be found in the present moment, while we are still alive.

I believe that our ability to enjoy this land is dependent on several factors, but most importantly, if our good outweighs our evil. It is the balance between our virtues and sins, our actions and their consequences, that shapes the nature of our personal heaven or hell. The choices we make and the way we treat others contribute to the fabric of our existence, determining the quality of our lives – after all, you are nothing if no other human exists around you.

Now, let's consider the first instance of a person who leads a life filled with kindness, compassion, and selflessness. This individual consistently goes out of their way to help others, spreading love and joy wherever they go. Their interactions with friends, family, and even strangers are characterised by empathy and understanding. In this person's world, heaven becomes a reality. The positive energy they emit attracts positivity into their life, creating a harmonious and joyful existence. They experience a deep sense of fulfilment and purpose, their actions and intentions aligned with their values, leading to a life of contentment.

Conversely, let's explore the second instance of someone who engages in destructive behaviours, causing harm to themselves and those around them. They are consumed by negativity, selfishness, and a disregard for the well-being of others. Their actions breed conflict, resentment, and pain. In this person's reality, hell manifests itself. They experience a constant cycle of suffering, trapped in their own destructive patterns, unable to find peace nor happiness. The consequences of their actions ripple through their life, creating a landscape of despair and turmoil.

These two instances illustrate the idea that our personal heavens and hells are shaped by our actions and the consequences they bring. It is not a punishment or reward bestowed upon us after death, but rather a reflection of the choices we make and the impact they have on ourselves and others. Our earthly existence becomes the canvas on which our virtues and sins are painted, ultimately determining the nature of our personal heavens and hells.

 

Furthermore, the belief that sins, virtues, and the concepts of heaven and hell are unique to each individual's circumstances opens up another realm of exploration. Our understanding of these concepts is shaped by our values, beliefs, and personal journeys. This subjectivity of experiences underscores the intricacies of human existence and reinforces the profound influence our actions have on the quality of our lives.

The diversity of human experiences and perspectives further amplifies the complexity of our personal heavens and hells. Each of us possesses a distinct combination of cultural background, upbringing, and life experiences that contribute to our unique perceptions and interpretations. Our individual narratives are woven into the fabric of these concepts, creating a rich tapestry of personal meaning and significance.

Consider two individuals who have committed similar actions that are generally considered sinful. The circumstances surrounding their choices, however, might differ significantly. One person may have acted out of desperation, driven by a deep sense of despair and lack of options. Their “sin” could be viewed as a reflection of their struggles and limited choices rather than a result of inherent malevolence. For this individual, their personal hell might be the overwhelming burden of their circumstances and the constant struggle to find redemption and peace. Also, if you place this in congruence with some religious doctrines, this is where the concept of purgatory may be introduced.

On the other hand, another individual may have committed the same act out of greed or malice, fully aware of the consequences and devoid of remorse. Their “sin” is a deliberate reflection of their moral choices and character. In this case, their personal hell could be the torment of their own guilt, the alienation they experience from others, and the emptiness that accompanies a life devoid of compassion and empathy. Now, if you also relate this with the concept of religious beliefs, this is where it may be acceptable for the said individual to burn in hell.

In these examples, the subjective nature of heavens and hells becomes apparent.

The experiences of these individuals are shaped not only by their actions but also by their unique perspectives, beliefs, and values. Our interpretations of these concepts are deeply intertwined with our understanding of morality, purpose, and the pursuit of happiness.

Moreover, the complexity of heavens and hells extends beyond the individual level. Our communities, societies, and cultures also influence our perceptions of these concepts. Cultural, societal norms, and collective values shape our understanding of virtue and sin, and subsequently, our interpretations of heaven and hell. What may be deemed virtuous in one culture could be seen as sinful in another, leading to diverse conceptions of personal salvation or damnation.

I think we should recognise that heaven and hell are not fixed entities but rather fluid. What once may have been our heaven might no longer hold the same meaning or significance. Our personal hells, too, can shift as we grow, heal, and find redemption.

Remember, the choice is yours: will you create your own heaven or inadvertently fall into your own personal hell? The power lies within you to shape your reality and find fulfilment.

 

The Fine Line Between Impatience and Practicality

Patience, as the saying goes, is a virtue. Throughout various aspects of our lives, whether it be in relationships or business decisions, we are frequently advised to exercise patience. However, it is interesting to observe that not everyone possesses the ability to practice patience, especially when it appears unwarranted. Moreover, some people are inherently impatient and possess a talent for making swift decisions that surprisingly yield positive outcomes. Personally, I cannot boast of being the most patient person, especially when strict policies are already in place to guide decision-making processes.

However, in examining the concept of patience more closely, one must consider its true nature and how it can be measured. Is it fair to label someone as impatient simply because they make decisions more quickly than others?

While patience is generally viewed as a commendable attribute, it is undeniable that there are instances in which being excessively patient can result in missed opportunities. We are often quick to identify missed opportunities, yet we seldom acknowledge the occasions when our own patience hindered progress. In such cases, it is crucial to strike a balance between exercising patience and employing common sense.

One scenario in which patience may not be necessary is when there are already stringent policies and guidelines in place. In such situations, decision-making processes are streamlined, minimising the need for additional patience. For instance, envision a company with well-established rules and regulations that govern decision-making. In such a case, extensive debates over which steps to take would be superfluous. Instead, one simply needs to adhere to the established guidelines and make an informed decision based on them.

Another instance in which excessive patience may prove unwise is when time is of the essence and the opportunity cost of being patient is exceedingly high. Consider, for instance, a limited time offer that is set to expire within the next hour. In this scenario, investing too much time in contemplation and deliberation may ultimately result in the loss of the opportunity altogether. Therefore, it is crucial to discern when time is of the essence and make prompt decisions in order to avoid missing out.

While it is important to acknowledge the potential drawbacks of excessive patience, it is equally important to recognise the value and benefits that patience can bring to various aspects of our lives. Patience allows us to exercise restraint, maintain composure, and persevere in the face of challenges. It cultivates a sense of self-control and provides us with the ability to wait for the right moment to act. Moreover, patience fosters empathy and understanding, enabling us to navigate complex relationships and conflicts with greater compassion.

In order to measure patience, one must consider individual circumstances and contexts. The perception of patience can vary greatly depending on the situation and the individuals involved. It is unwise to label someone as impatient solely based on the speed at which they make decisions. Instead, patience should be evaluated in relation to the specific demands and requirements of each scenario.

Furthermore, the ability to practice patience can be developed and refined over time. It requires self-awareness and a willingness to reflect on our own tendencies and behaviours. By recognising situations in which patience may be beneficial, we can consciously strive to cultivate this virtue. However, it is also important to acknowledge our limitations and understand that there are instances where patience may not be the most appropriate course of action.

Ultimately, striking a balance between patience and expediency is key. Each situation calls for a nuanced evaluation, considering factors such as time constraints, existing policies, and the potential consequences of delay. It is through a thoughtful assessment of these variables that we can determine whether to exercise patience or to make swift decisions.

In conclusion, patience is indeed considered a virtue, but it is not without its complexities. While some individuals possess a natural inclination towards patience, others may struggle with it, particularly in certain circumstances. The true measure of patience lies in the ability to navigate various situations, recognising when it is necessary and when it may hinder progress. Ultimately, the key lies in understanding that patience, like many virtues, is not an absolute concept, but rather a nuanced quality that requires discernment and adaptability.

Rules or Common Sense: Which Should We Prioritise?

Life is full of moments when we find ourselves torn between following the rules and trusting our common sense. It's like being caught in a crossfire between a strict rulebook and that inner voice telling us what feels right. So, the big question is: Do we put our blind faith in the rules or let our street smarts and gut feeling guide us? Let's dive into this spirited debate and explore the pros and cons of each side.

Rules: Keeping the Order, Ignoring the Quirks
Rules are like the stern teacher that keeps the classroom in line. They bring structure, fairness, and a sense of order to our lives. They're often created by experts, lawmakers, and those in authority who have analysed situations from all angles. Rules are designed to provide a level playing field, ensuring consistency and preventing any shady business. People may argue that following rules, even when they seem arbitrary or counter-intuitive, it keeps society running smoothly.

Common Sense: Trusting Your Inner Wisdom
Common sense is like your trusty sidekick, always ready to whisper advice in your ear. It's that instinctive understanding of how things work based on experience and practicality. It helps us navigate complex situations where rules might fall short. Common sense encourages flexibility, adaptability, and thinking outside the box. People may also believe that relying solely on rules can stifle creativity and hinder progress, while tapping into common sense sparks innovation.

Rules: Not Always a Perfect Fit
Despite their benefits, rules have its limitations. They're often based on generalisations, assuming one size fits all. In reality, life throws curveballs that rules may not anticipate. Rules can't possibly account for every unique circumstance or consider the intricate details of individual cases. Blindly following rules, no matter how outdated or unfair they may seem, can lead to unjust outcomes. This is where common sense steps in, helping us question rules that contradict fairness or practicality.

Common Sense: A Dash of Subjectivity
While common sense is invaluable, it's not without its quirks. It's shaped by our upbringing, education, and personal experiences, making it subjective. What's common sense to one person might seem outrageous to another. Ignoring rules completely in favour of common sense can breed inconsistency, favouritism, and even chaos. Rules provide a sense of predictability, accountability, and protection within a system. Dismissing them entirely undermines the trust and fairness they aim to establish.

Striking a Balance: The Holy Grail
Rather than pitting rules against common sense, finding a balance between the two is the key to harmony. Rules provide a necessary framework, but they should allow room for interpretation and flexibility in specific situations. Common sense injects humanity and practicality into the rulebook, addressing its limitations and biases. Likewise, common sense should be tempered with an awareness of established rules to avoid playing fast and loose. Striking the right balance empowers us to make informed decisions, navigating the complexity of life with confidence.

In the eternal battle of rules versus common sense, there's no clear winner. Both have their merits and shortcomings. Rules bring order, consistency, and fairness, but they can be rigid and fail to account for every scenario. Common sense provides adaptability, creativity, and innovation, but it's subjective and can lead to inconsistency. Ultimately, finding a balance between the two is crucial.

Letting Children Be Children inhibits their Development

As parents, we often want to shield our children from the harsh realities of the world. We speak to them in gentle tones, use baby language, and avoid talking about adult topics. However, does this parenting style help or hinder our children's development and ability to navigate the real world?

While it may seem easier to speak to our children in baby language, using adult communication can help children develop their intellectual skills and encourage them to grow and learn more quickly. Personally, I have chosen that I will treat my child like an adult, speaking to them in a neutral tone of voice and using language that facilitates learning. This approach will not only teach my child how to make better choices in life, but it will also encourage self-reflection and self-discipline.

Treating children like adults does not mean being harsh, or using vulgar language and profanity, it also does not mean ignoring their specific developmental needs; it simply means offering them the respect they deserve and treating them as equals in terms communication. This approach creates an environment where children feel heard, trusted, and respected. It allows them to take ownership of their learning and development and prepares them to face the real world with confidence.

There are several instances where treating children like adults can positively impact their development. For example, I recently came across an Instagram account of a child named Semanj, whose mother follows a similar parenting approach as I intend to. Semanj is an extremely bright child, and his mother once mentioned that his development is a result of the way his parents communicates with him. She says that they never speak with him like he's a baby, and this has helped Semanj develop excellent cognitive abilities.

Another significant advantage of treating children like adults is that it can encourage them teach themselves through reflections. The philosophy of self-teaching involves teaching children how to learn and absorb knowledge, instead of spoon-feeding them information. This approach helps children develop self-discipline and can positively impact both their academic performance and personal growth.

Teaching children to be independent thinkers and self-teachers involves giving them the tools and resources necessary to develop these skills. One way to do this is by creating an environment that fosters self-learning. For example, providing them with age-appropriate books and resources that are linked with real-world lessons as opposed to having toys just for the fun of it. Also, by allowing them to examine random objects that they find around their environment, especially those that are not harmful to them.

I think that as parents, we play a crucial role in shaping our children's thinking and development. I believe that everything as mentioned here can help kids become more confident, capable individuals and better people when they grow older.

Time as a Currency: Maximising Your Resources

Time is a precious commodity, and as the saying goes, it's money. We all know the importance of effective time management, whether in our personal or professional life. We prioritise tasks, make to-do lists, and try to squeeze every minute out of the day to achieve our goals. But in retrospect, I've learned that the adage “time is money” goes beyond just effective time management. It also means that what you cannot afford now due to lack of money, you can afford by using the time you have. Moreover, I've come to understand that time is not equivalent to money; it is more valuable than money because you can make back lost money but can never make back time lost.

For instance, consider the case of a student who is struggling to pay for college tuition. They may feel that they cannot afford to spend time engaging in extracurricular activities or pursue a passion project because they need to devote all their time to working to pay for tuition. But in reality, by investing time in these activities, they could gain valuable skills and experience that could help them secure a better-paying job after graduation.

I understand this may not the best instance to use for an example, so I will mention who else can benefit from this philosophy. Entrepreneurs, they may find that they do not have enough financial resources to develop a product or hire a team that they need. In such instances, they can leverage their time and use their skills and expertise to develop their product on their own or build a team organically from the ground up, leaning on their interpersonal relationships, and growing their network. This may take longer, but it is an investment that time can pay off.

It's essential to understand that the phrase “time is money” can be misleading. Yes, time is essential in financial gain, but it's more valuable because of its irreversibility. You can't buy back time once it's gone. All the money in the world can't bring back a loved one who's passed away, or erase the regret of not seizing an opportunity when it presented itself. Time waits for no one, but money often does.

Furthermore, if we obsess over money too much, we may lose out on quality time. We all have heard the stories about hard-working individuals who climbed the ladder of success, only to regret that they missed out on spending time with their family or pursuing their passions. They focused too heavily on financial wealth and, in turn, missed out on other valuable aspects of life.

This is where the philosophy that time is more valuable than money comes in. It can remind us to take breaks, turn off our phones, and spend quality time with our loved ones. It can also encourage us to pursue the things that make us happy, whether it be travelling, reading books, or trying new hobbies. These are things that money cannot buy, but time can provide.

To wrap this up, the adage that “time is money” has a multifaceted meaning. While it promotes effective time management, it also emphasises that time can be leveraged to achieve success in areas where financial resources are lacking. More importantly, we should realise that time is a commodity that is more valuable than money because it is irreversibly lost once it's gone. Moral of the story; try to strike a balance between investing time in our goals and investing time in the things that bring us genuine happiness.