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Contemplating Parenthood: Do I Need To Be?

Contemplating Parenthood Do I Need To Be

You can agree with me that the decision to have children or not is a deeply personal one. I have although chosen the path of not wanting to have a child. However, I acknowledge that my partner may have different views, and in that case, I may consider settling for just one child. I understand that this mindset might raise questions, so let me openly share my reasons for this perspective, maybe my potential partner will see this before even thinking of having anything to do with me. Lol.

First and foremost, I don't want to contribute to the problems of the world by unnecessarily increasing the population. The Earth is already facing numerous challenges such as overpopulation, resource depletion, and environmental degradation. By choosing not to have a child, I am reducing my ecological footprint and minimising the strain on our planet's limited resources.

Another reason for my decision is the realisation that my child may never fully appreciate my efforts. While this may sound harsh, it is a reality that many parents face. As much as we pour our love, time, and energy into raising a child, there is no guarantee that they will understand or acknowledge our sacrifices. Parenting is a selfless act, and I have come to terms with the fact that my child doesn't have to appreciate my efforts, and I can't force them to.

Moreover, I believe that bringing a child into this world exposes them to a life full of uncertainties. The world can be unpredictable and challenging, and I question whether I am doing more harm than good by introducing them to a world that is constantly evolving. Protecting my child from unnecessary hardships and preserving their comfort is a concern that weighs heavily on my decision.

Additionally, I want to enjoy all that this world has to offer without the burden or attachment of someone else who may not fully comprehend how the world works. This might sound selfish to some, but I yearn for the freedom to prioritise my own goals, aspirations, and adventures without the added responsibility of raising a child. I believe this allows me to fully immerse myself in the experiences and opportunities that come my way.

If I were ever to change my mind and consider having a child, it would be only one. There are several reasons why I might consider this path.

Firstly, the desire to maintain a sense of tranquillity and order in my home. Having just one child ensures a more peaceful and calm environment, fostering a stronger sense of balance and harmony within the family dynamic.

Secondly, by focusing all my energy on one person, I can provide them with my undivided attention and support. Parenting is a demanding role, and by having only one child, I can devote my time, resources, and love solely to their needs. This allows for a deeper connection and the potential for a stronger parent-child bond.

Furthermore, I believe that favouritism can unintentionally arise when there are multiple children in a family. Each child is unique, with their own set of strengths and weaknesses, and it is human nature to develop preferences. I want to avoid any child feeling left out or less loved by ensuring that my attention is solely on one child. This fosters a sense of equality and fairness within the family unit.

Lastly, my personal experiences growing up do not necessarily motivate my desire to have more than one child. While I am content with the person I have become today, I do not believe that replicating my own upbringing is a valid reason for expanding my family. Each person's journey is unique, and I respect that my child, if I were to have one, should have the freedom to shape their own path and create their own narrative.

I want to reiterate that these are my personal preferences and choices, and I do not expect everyone to think the way I do. The decision to have children or not is deeply personal. My intention in sharing my thoughts is to shed light on the reasons behind my child-free choice and the possibility of considering having just one child. It is a complex decision that requires careful thought, self-reflection, and open communication with one's partner.

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  1. Billion Shades Girl 🌈

    I wish I were one of those your children that you wouldn’t want to have and I wouldn’t be the one that you may finally have!👀🤣. Sometimes, I have this great thoughts or wish of not being born.This is why I can, in some ways relate to this.

    I also did not really like my upbringing. I don’t think of it as child rearing, I think of it of having the highest responsibility of caring for and directing a human’s life. A human being — the greatest wonder of the heaven, the world and his/herself.

    And that, is the reason I would want to have kids. It’s like, I’m want to create the childhood I didn’t have. I may not be the perfect parent, I may end up making some mistakes, but I’m so certain I would be great at it because I would give it the most of my intentionality.

    And yes, children are humans too. It’s like most times parents think their children are not humans. All humans are selfish and ungrateful — we all have that tendency.

    One day, my teenage son or my 25 year son may feel I disappointed in me, because of one reason or the other. However, I’m sure, that like me, their eyes would get clearer by the day. Even though he still feels disappointed, he will understand.

    This is a great piece, about a real and contemporary life issue!

    • Brendan

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your perspective on parenting, and the desire to create a better childhood for an unborn soul. It’s heartening to find people that also share my own thoughts, be it in parts or in full.
      Your comment on my blog is truly valuable 😊

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