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Why I Don’t Like Being Sympathised With

Why I Don’t Like Being Sympathized With

There is something about sympathy that makes me feel uneasy. I am not a fan of being pitied or feeling like I am being treated like a victim. I've tried to put my finger in it, and to an extent I'm beginning to understand why.

When I experience failure or make a mistake due to my actions, I'd rather not want to be relieved of the consequences, I'd rather accept them and learn from them. Accepting responsibility helps me refrain from repeating the same mistakes, thereby becoming a better person.

At the same time, I am also learning to let go of the things that are beyond my control. When things don’t go as planned, I'd rather leave it to fate than dwell on what ifs or feel sorry for myself. The idea of someone worrying about me or trying to make me feel better just doesn’t sit well with me. It’s almost as if sympathy disempowers me.

Moreover, my discomfort with sympathy is not to say that I don't want help when I need it. I always request assistance when necessary, however, I don't want to involve others in my problems in a way that makes them feel sorry for me. And in that same vein, I don't want to feel sorry for myself, either.

The lesson I've learned from all of this is that accepting failures and moving on is not a show of weakness. If anything, confronting my obstacles has made me stronger and more resilient. And while I still have much to discover about myself, I do understand that sympathy is just not for me.

In consequence, when things go wrong, I tell myself to remember: “accept responsibility for your part and learn from your mistakes, and don't be too hard on yourself when you face inevitable setbacks”. Life gets messy and it's normal to feel scared or vulnerable at times, but don't let pity take away your power and confidence.

I think it's okay not to want sympathy, and it took me a while to understand that. However, knowing what makes me uncomfortable is a step towards being more aware of myself. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and knowing yours will be beneficial in so many ways.

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