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Know Thyself: The Key to Successful Relationships

Know Thyself The Key To Successful Relationships

So, before you embark on any new stage in your life, you always go through some form of assessment, don't you? Whether it's applying for college, a new job, or trying out a new hobby, we always ask ourselves questions like, “Who am I? What do I have to offer? Do I meet their requirements? Do I understand what's expected of me?”

But what about when it comes to relationships? Why don't we put the same level of energy and effort into assessing ourselves and others before diving straight into the dating pool?

I mean, let's be honest, we've all at some point jumped headfirst into relationships without really thinking it through. You meet someone new, and all of a sudden, you're in love, despite barely knowing the person.

With over 8 Billion people on this planet, why put so much pressure on ourselves to find that one person, especially if it’s at the expense of our own happiness and well-being?

We hardly ever take the time to ask ourselves the important questions like, “What are my values and beliefs? What do I want in a partner? What are my deal-breakers?”. Sometimes breakups happen and we can’t tell why. We don’t have something feasible to go back to access and re-access. Who knows, the fault may be from us.

It's important to understand ourselves before we can truly understand what we want. We need to know what makes us tick, what we're passionate about1, and what we're looking for in a partner.

And it's not just about self-reflection; it's about being honest with ourselves and with others. If we're only looking for a casual fling, then we shouldn't lead someone on, pretending that we want something more. It's not fair to them nor to ourselves.

Now, I'm not saying that we need to over-analyse the risks of finding someone for ourselves, but I do think that taking the time to assess ourselves and what we want before jumping into a relationship is essential2.

So, if you're someone who's looking for love, or probably even just friendships, take a step back and reflect on what you want as a person. Take the time to understand your own self, your values, your deal-breakers, and your passions. Trust me; it'll make the journey harder of course, but much more fulfilling.


1. Self-awareness allows us to identify what makes us unique in terms of our thoughts and actions. Having all this information can be empowering; you are more likely to be introspective and ready to decide on your intentions when you know yourself, which is an important element of healing and transformation.,element%20of%20healing%20and%20transformation.
2. But it's also important to enter a partnership as a whole, well-rounded person — as someone who can contribute to the health of the relationship.

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  1. Billion Shades Girl

    It’s like something I say to myself and then to others “you find yourself, before you find your tribe”.

    Self awareness is so key to every relationship in life.

    And another thing I noticed, is that it’s hard for people to be honest to even themselves; because of the popular narratives in the world.

    But for me, when I came to terms of being someone who’s weird sef, I made a decision to live my
    life on my terms alone. The systems and narratives of the world, were designed by people to favor them — even the seemingly good ones. Alwaysss being sure of what we want, requires us to be in touch always with who we are.

    (I feel that we were taught/told not to lie, but weren’t taught to be honest, so most times, it’s something we need to painstakingly learn)

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