So, before you embark on any new stage in your life, you always go through some form of assessment, don't you? Whether it's applying for college, a new job, or trying out a new hobby, we always ask ourselves questions like, “Who am I? What do I have to offer? Do I meet their requirements? Do I understand what's expected of me?”
But what about when it comes to relationships? Why don't we put the same level of energy and effort into assessing ourselves and others before diving straight into the dating pool?
I mean, let's be honest, we've all at some point jumped headfirst into relationships without really thinking it through. You meet someone new, and all of a sudden, you're in love, despite barely knowing the person.
With over 8 Billion people on this planet, why put so much pressure on ourselves to find that one person, especially if it’s at the expense of our own happiness and well-being?
We hardly ever take the time to ask ourselves the important questions like, “What are my values and beliefs? What do I want in a partner? What are my deal-breakers?”. Sometimes breakups happen and we can’t tell why. We don’t have something feasible to go back to access and re-access. Who knows, the fault may be from us.
It's important to understand ourselves before we can truly understand what we want. We need to know what makes us tick, what we're passionate about1, and what we're looking for in a partner.
And it's not just about self-reflection; it's about being honest with ourselves and with others. If we're only looking for a casual fling, then we shouldn't lead someone on, pretending that we want something more. It's not fair to them nor to ourselves.
Now, I'm not saying that we need to over-analyse the risks of finding someone for ourselves, but I do think that taking the time to assess ourselves and what we want before jumping into a relationship is essential2.
So, if you're someone who's looking for love, or probably even just friendships, take a step back and reflect on what you want as a person. Take the time to understand your own self, your values, your deal-breakers, and your passions. Trust me; it'll make the journey harder of course, but much more fulfilling.
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