Birthdays have always been a day where friends and family write something remarkable about the celebrant – do you remember when we usually table these writings on an actual card? Now, we do this in the comment section of our social media posts. Isn't this interesting? lol. However, while this tradition is deeply ingrained in our modern society, I can't help but wonder if there's generally a more practical way to approach birthdays.

Can we maybe normalise celebrating people a day after their birthdays? I mean, if you think about it, as much as it's nice to recall the exact dates of people you love, the reality is that we meet hundreds, if not thousands, of new people to cherish all the time. Each person holds their own special place in our hearts, and we do remember their existence and often reach out to them. However, in the fast-paced world we live in, it becomes nearly impossible to remember each and every personal date.

As adults with numerous commitments and responsibilities, there are countless mornings when we wake up without even knowing the exact date. It's not until we open our social media account at night after work hours and come across a photo of someone celebrating their birthday that we are reminded of the occasion. For me at that point, I'm faced with a dilemma. Should I just get this sleep now and simply send a belated birthday wish the next day, or should I leave a basic comment on their post as if I am just another follower who forgot the birthday, then stumbled upon the post just now, when I know that I could do better by at least planning an ideal gift, or a bear minimum of writing something a tad more heartfelt as oppose a “hbd llnp”.

The pressure to remember and acknowledge every single birthday can be overwhelming. Sometimes, I am left feeling as though if I'm not part of the pre-birthday build-up, I am somehow less important to that person. But is it fair to judge the strength of a relationship based on one day? Shouldn't our love and affection transcend a single date on the calendar?

And then there are those friends who take offense if their birthday is forgotten altogether. They become upset, feeling neglected and unimportant. But should the ability to remember a specific date really determine the value we place on someone? Shouldn't the love and support we show throughout the year matter more than one day?

It was this very dilemma and these questions that inspired me to write this article.

I'd like to extend a heartfelt thank you to Fifidiny for recently posting a reminder to her birthday. You are one of the most authentic individuals I have come across in Scotland, and I know you read my articles. Therefore, I am confident of using this medium to deliver my wish for you on your special day.

Fifi, as you embark on this new age, I wish for you greater success in your music career. May your streaming hits soar beyond imaginations and may your talent be recognised beyond the hills of Scotland. Your hard work and independence will surely pay off, and I am excited to witness your continued growth.

So, to conclude on this musings, what I'm essentially attempting to convey is that Fifi has sparked this unconventional custom by offering a heads up. This ensures there are no excuses for failing to commemorate her special day. We should start welcoming the spirit of sharing your special day prior to the actual day, allowing your loved ones the chance to extend their well-wishes in their own distinctive manner.

Again Fifi, Happy birthday today and every year!

Relationships can be a tricky subject to discuss. Often times, I get reluctant to write about them because it can be argued that I couldn't possibly understand the intricacies of a relationship especially as I'm currently not in one. But a fact is that it's often those who are outside the chessboard that have a clearer view of the game.

You see, when it comes to building a strong foundation in a relationship, it's important to steer clear of the misconception that it's mostly rainbows and butterflies, couples strolling and holding hands, travelling to places and taking up on new challenges together. While those moments may come, I'm not of the opinion that it should be the primary focus during a relationship, especially in the early stages. Instead, both parties should channel that time on having difficult conversations, being inquisitive, and especially building tolerance – this tolerance part should not even be left out if you don't want to find yourselves practising so much of it when inside the actual marriage. All of these mentioned are the building blocks of a healthy and long-lasting connection.

In fact, as the term “talking stage” implies, this is the time to talk, talk and talk. Talk about EVERYTHING!

Now, another thing to understand is that this talking stage is an actual relationship in itself. It's a time-demanding investment. In fact, it's one very underrated aspect of the relationship because people are so quick to “defining” things, instead of seeing it as an opportunity to play it safe without having to create resentment if one party chooses to call it quits. This talking stage is the time to truly get to know one another, to learn about each other's flaws and if these are within your tolerance level. So do your due diligence! Talking stage shouldn't be rushed or taken lightly at all. It sets the tone for the future, so investing time and effort into meaningful conversations is essential, and stop texting “wyd” all the time 🙄

The concept of dating should only come into play when both individuals are certain that their relationship has the potential to last forever.

Dating should not be used as a trial-and-error phase, but rather a period of getting to know each other on a deeper level with the intention of commitment. In fact, picture dating as that stage that you consider yourselves unmarried due to financial constraints or simply poor timing. I think dating should be for a very short period of time between a proposal and a wedding (you read that right), a time when both parties are confident in their choice and committed to making it work. In fact, dating stage is almost unnecessary after that period when you both already have learned about each other. Technically, if your talking stage lasted for 3 years, you could date for only 6 months before marriage.

Marriage, on the other hand, is where the excitement should truly shine. The beauty of marriage is having a lifetime to consciously explore and experiment with the things that bring joy and fulfilment to the relationship. Whether it's indulging in new adventures or creating a safe space for each other, marriage presents that opportunity to intentionally invest in this. Even if romance is not typically your thing, recognising its importance and actively working towards incorporating it into your relationship can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful connection. And I preach this to you, THIS IS NOT the time to build an understanding with your partner! Yes, there would be new things to learn about this person, but it should not be too far from what you already know about them from the talking stage, hence, tolerance level should automatically be lowered.

While it's true that relationships can be filled with moments of joy, romance, and excitement, the message I'm trying to pass here is that we must begin to take that talking stage as a serious challenge of being vulnerable and open to those difficult conversations. If it doesn't help you find that person as a potential partner, it would as least help you towards personal self discovery and growth. It is only through all of these experiences that we learn, evolve, tolerate and build lasting stability.